When Daddy Is Gone...

Target hotdogs and Icees are a perfectly acceptable dinner.

Ellie might pee in the middle of a store.

Little boys make LOTS of extra mischief. Most of which involves the hose.

A pile of toys forms for Daddy to fix.

Mommy gets to drag a kicking, screaming little girl through the church pariking lot because she doesn't want to leave while threatening the boys through gritted teeth if they don't startwalkingtothecarNOW!

Dinner with my inlaws feels like a gift from on high.

Clothes never quite make it from the laundry basket to the dresser.

Ellie can be caught crying out, "Grandma! Hold you!" when told to go to bed.

The two hours of child-free Women's Bible Study rank up there with the second coming.

Jon has been at a conference in Michigan for six days and is coming home today. I've learned one thing about myself in the last week: I would make a miserable single mom! I will proudly admit in this house we rely on Daddy and I can't do it all myself.

Look at her. Who could believe she pees in stores and throws fits in the church parking lot??

A pajama-clad Matchbox car race.

He chooses out his own PJ's, okay. Don't judge!

I love my little monkeys, but there is a reason God gives a Daddy to us Mommas!

Casting Down Our Idols

Today I am laying my idol on the altar and I'm walking away from it.

The thing that pulls me from God and offers me false comfort in His place no longer grips me. I am letting it go, no longer coddling and nursing this sin along.

I can think of many things I could stand to give up for these 40 days, but my love affair with food was a glaring spot on my heart. I understand that not everyone has this relationship with food and many people can enjoy food in a more spiritually healthy way, so I'm not saying that enjoying food is inherently sinful. Yet, I felt deeply convicted about the emotional ties I have formed with food and knew it was time to deal with it. To reveal my ugly to the One who already sees it all and ask Him to take it from me.

Today is about surrender.

What's interesting is that I don't surrender this with trepidation or out of sacrifice. I know that nothing I could do would earn His love or make me lose his love, so I am certainly not trying to do penance. Rather, I am looking deeply into my own soul, which so longs for my Savior, and seeing this barricade between He and I.

Today I joyfully hand it over to God.

The past week or so I've felt so much self-doubt and questioned whether or not I could really do this. Deep down, my sinful self really likes this one. I like losing myself in a dessert at the end of a long day or indulging in a frappucino late in the afternoon. It's such an easy, excusable sin. After all, I'm trying to love my husband, raise these kids well, homeschool, run our house and work in orphan care ministry, can't a girl have a donut every now and then?! Yes, maybe someday I will reach that point, but where I stand today is in a place of needing to completely walk away from foods that pose an emotional temptation. Anything that tempts me to turn my back to God in favor of a quick and easy pick-me-up must go.

So I'll stop wondering whether or not I can do this. The whole reason I'm committing to this fast is because I know I can't do this. But Jesus can and He wants closeness with me as much as I want closeness to Him. And that is better than dessert any day.

What's on your altar today?

"Even now,” declares the LORD,
“return to me with all your heart,
with fasting and weeping and mourning.”


Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity.
- Joel 2:12-13

Let's Talk Curriculum

Curriculum almost stopped me from homeschooling. To say the options are overwhelming is an understatement at best.

My friend Esty likens the homeschool curriculum options to drinking from a firehose.

I don't read homeschool blogs. I've tried. They. Scare. Me. (No offense if you write one!)

My reality just does not involve being able to design Montessori-style activities for Ellie to do while I do super duper creative crafts and projects with the boys and I still run our household.

Nope.

So I'm sticking with what I know, which is reading. In my former life (i.e. before all these kids took over!) I was a teacher and then a Reading Specialist. I worked with struggling readers in a public Jr. High and it was a wonderful and rewarding job.

That being my background, here are my truths about school and learning in the early years -

- instilling a love of learning and reading is our most important academic goal for now. Whatever curriculum we choose for kindergarten needs to be full of real, living books that my kids can love. This is one thing we adore about Sonlight. Even in the preschool curriculum, the books are fantastic. Seriously, my boys insist on walking in a straight line behind me and quacking in public after reading Make Way for Ducklings.

- phonics is secondary to that. Cade learned his letter sounds in preschool, so we aren't having to teach those, but we will need to select some kind of phonics program. I plan to keep our phonics work a brief part of our day where we do a quick and fun practice of skills. I do not want phonics to be our primary focus. Because phonemes bore me, so I bet they bore my kids too. I love Zoo Phonics for teaching sounds (I plan to use that with Amby next fall.)

- worksheets make me want to poke my eyes out. I know, I know, they're kind of a necessary evil. But as much as possible, I want to use other avenues for practicing skills. A huge part of our reason for keeping the kids home is to truly explore learning. I like to think of using worksheets as brief practice opportunities to supplement learning.

- I need something grab and go. Yes, I know I just gave my schpiel on worksheets, which somewhat contradicts this. I just like the idea of having my hand held with highly structured lesson plans. Even though I was a teacher..

Now for all my questions -

Classical conversations. What the what? A friend of mine showed me her materials from being involved in it in another city and it was the most terrifying thing I've ever seen. Yet, I was intrigued by it, too. Please, someone explain this to me. Why do I need to get my 5 year old to memorize facts about the Byzantine Empire? I like the name Classical Conversations. We like classical books, and conversations are always good. Help a mama out, this one isn't making sense to me!

What curriculum do you use and why? Our top picks for kinder right now are -
Sonlight (so expensive though!)
My Father's World
Winter Promise.

I've heard Abeka phonics is good, but it sounds like there are no great works of literature involved there and that's a deal breaker.

What about math? We are considering -
Math U See
Saxon
Singapore

Okay, ready, set, SHARE!

my little god {a lenten fast}

I can write confidently about some things: the unswerving love of my Savior, the miracle of adoption, the ridiculous everyday of mothering young children, and the deep love and gratitude I have for my Farmer.

Today I'm not writing about any of those things.

This is one of the hardest things I've written. It involves exposing my ugly, weak, sinful parts. Yet, I know that for this chapter I'm beginning, I have to open myself up and share honestly with others.

Here I go.

I have this little god. It comforts me when I'm sad. It relieves my stress. I celebrate with it. I cry with it. I feel good and forget whatever is going on when I turn to it. At the end of a long day, I curl up with it and all is right once again. Until tomorrow, when I'll need to go rushing back to it.

No, I'm not a drug addict (although that description sort of made me sound like one....)

Food is my little god. Not just any food. I prefer my food sweet or artificial or fried or processed or all of the above.

Please don't be confused; this isn't a post about weight loss.

I am a Christian. I love Jesus. I want to live my life for Him. Yet, when things get difficult, I turn to food. Before I pray or open my bible or ask a godly friend for their wisdom, I search out the nearest foodstuff to soothe my sorrows away.

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Lent begins one week from today. If there ever is a time to look at our lives and ask, What can I remove to make more space for God? What needs to get smaller so HE can be bigger in my life? Lent would be that time. I think everyone has something in their life that threatens the role of the true, living God by providing quick and easy enjoyment or even just distraction. Think about it - in this world of right now, what things are robbing you of true communion with your Creator? What's your little god?

Is it food?
Screens? (the internet, TV, the phone)
A relationship?
Exercise and fitness? (in our culture this could easily become an idol)
Material things?

I've spent the past six weeks or so mulling this over. Wondering what this looks like for me. Trying to justify not really changing anything. Then knowing that if I want to truly walk with Him, change isn't optional. So with much kicking and screaming, I have chosen to fast during the season of Lent. To make less of food and more of God. Here are the parameters I will follow (which have been determined based on the ways I struggle the most with food):

1. No sweets or refined carbohydrates (because our bodies immediately convert them to sugar anyway.)
2. Nothing from a package. (i.e. whole foods only, most of which don't come from a package in my pantry.)
3. No restaurants or drive-thrus.
4. One day a week, fasting until dinner. This is actually a practice I've begun with a few friends of mine and it has been truly eye-opening and revealed so much in my heart.
5. Practice showing true gratitude to God for food by using it for it's intended purpose.

The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season. - Ps. 145:15

That's it. 40 days. Real food to nourish my body cooked in my home by me. I plan to blog through this journey as a form of accountability and to document this experience. I also hope to take the money saved from not eating out and give it away.

When I told my little sister about this, her first question was, "Is this a diet in disguise??" a fair question, with my history of dieting. I will be having my husband hide the scale in an undisclosed location to avoid the temptation to weigh myself. I will not let myself shift the focus of this fast from my soul to my physical body.

Do not labor for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For on him God the Father has set his seal - John 6:27

Food less, God more.

This lent, what can you let go to have more Jesus?

If you're a foodie like me, two great reads on the topic that provided inspiration are Made to Crave and 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess.

Date Night

Two of the teenagers from church surprised us by offering to babysit for free so we could go out for Valentine's Day. It meant so much to us. One more reason for Jon to love volunteering with the high school kids!

We went out on a pre-Valentine's Day picnic on the lake.

It was perfect. No cards or flowers (I'm weird and don't like receiving flowers.)

Just me and my beloved and the sunset.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. - 1 John 4:7

Last Minute Valentines {Cheap & Quick!}

1. Take a picture (or use an existing one)

2. Upload to Picnik (their site is closing in April so all of the premium effects are free!)

3. Design something cute.

4. Order 4 x 6 prints.

We just ordered 50 valentines for $6.50!

C4C & The Cupcake Crew

A couple of weekends ago something really special happened. Our entire (female, anyway) Sixty Feet U.S. team was in one place.

 All together. All of us. And our cupcakes too.

I think God planned for me to work with a ministry whose primary fundraiser is cupcakes. Some things are just meant to be.

This is Laura, who I like to think of as Atlanta-Me. If I was a tad classier and lived in the South, we'd be twins. Laura and I have a creepy amount of stuff in common from our kids' ages to our family histories. Laura graciously hosted me at her house the night before the retreat and then drove me around showing me all that Atlanta has to offer. Love this lady!

You can only imagine the late nights and laughter that ensued.

I spent a lot of time doing this -

Waking up to the view of Lake Lanier wasn't too shabby, either.

I've shared before what a life changing experience Created for Care was for me last year. This year it was refreshing and amazing in new ways. Being at the retreat as a mom on the other side of adoption made the whole experience very different from last year. In a good way.

For starters, this year I was speaking on a blogger panel and then sharing on behalf of Sixty Feet during a breakout session.

The blogger panel with Gwen (not pictured), Suzanne, Missy, Kristi and Lovelyn was a lot of fun. Someone told me I look asleep in all of the pictures of the panel. Really, I was trying to forget that there were people out there and that I was on a stage!

My down time was mosly spent chowing down on cupcakes working at the Sixty Feet table.



Love this magnet. It's the newest addition to my Mommy Mobile.

I got to hug some necks of dear friends, a couple for the first time! I love how in adoption you find these kindred spirits and grow close to them before ever meeting them!

Here are the FIRST TWO PEOPLE I EVER E-MAILED ABOUT ADOPTION, Lauren and Amy. Yes, almost three years ago as I was dipping my toes into the waters of adoption I wrote these two gals and they were so enouraging. Amy has a son named Cade, how awesome is that? And Lauren brought her first sweetie home from Ethiopia a year ago and is starting adoption #2!

Leigh and I sat together last year (and she is a HOOT.) We were both waiting for our referrals at the time. In the course of the last year, she brought home her 4 year old cutie pie Angesom and I brought home my own little 4 year old "A"!

Courtney was one of my roomies at C4C last year (2 of our other roomies are in Africa right now, 1 has moved there, the other is adopting!)

And this cute buncha Mommas. Angie (whose kid has the cutest little boy hair evah), Erica (our adoption-travel-agent extraordinaire!), Emily, Rachel, Moi and Lovelyn.

Of course, there was plenty of time for ridiculousness. I don't know what I'm doing in any of these pictures a friend took, but I remember laughing my toosh off at whatever it was. Apparently I do a lot of weird stuff in front of cameras and my friends enjoy photographing it because I ended up tagged in the following photos...  

I am not praying here. I think I was entertaining people at this point in time.  

Once again, not praying, just getting a backrub from Shelly. I'm not sure why I look like I'm praying in all of these.

And to round out this photographic tribute to my weirdness, we've got this one.

Wow. That was a lot of pictures. Created for Care and my Cupcake Crew never disappoint!