my little god {a lenten fast}

I can write confidently about some things: the unswerving love of my Savior, the miracle of adoption, the ridiculous everyday of mothering young children, and the deep love and gratitude I have for my Farmer.

Today I'm not writing about any of those things.

This is one of the hardest things I've written. It involves exposing my ugly, weak, sinful parts. Yet, I know that for this chapter I'm beginning, I have to open myself up and share honestly with others.

Here I go.

I have this little god. It comforts me when I'm sad. It relieves my stress. I celebrate with it. I cry with it. I feel good and forget whatever is going on when I turn to it. At the end of a long day, I curl up with it and all is right once again. Until tomorrow, when I'll need to go rushing back to it.

No, I'm not a drug addict (although that description sort of made me sound like one....)

Food is my little god. Not just any food. I prefer my food sweet or artificial or fried or processed or all of the above.

Please don't be confused; this isn't a post about weight loss.

I am a Christian. I love Jesus. I want to live my life for Him. Yet, when things get difficult, I turn to food. Before I pray or open my bible or ask a godly friend for their wisdom, I search out the nearest foodstuff to soothe my sorrows away.

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Lent begins one week from today. If there ever is a time to look at our lives and ask, What can I remove to make more space for God? What needs to get smaller so HE can be bigger in my life? Lent would be that time. I think everyone has something in their life that threatens the role of the true, living God by providing quick and easy enjoyment or even just distraction. Think about it - in this world of right now, what things are robbing you of true communion with your Creator? What's your little god?

Is it food?
Screens? (the internet, TV, the phone)
A relationship?
Exercise and fitness? (in our culture this could easily become an idol)
Material things?

I've spent the past six weeks or so mulling this over. Wondering what this looks like for me. Trying to justify not really changing anything. Then knowing that if I want to truly walk with Him, change isn't optional. So with much kicking and screaming, I have chosen to fast during the season of Lent. To make less of food and more of God. Here are the parameters I will follow (which have been determined based on the ways I struggle the most with food):

1. No sweets or refined carbohydrates (because our bodies immediately convert them to sugar anyway.)
2. Nothing from a package. (i.e. whole foods only, most of which don't come from a package in my pantry.)
3. No restaurants or drive-thrus.
4. One day a week, fasting until dinner. This is actually a practice I've begun with a few friends of mine and it has been truly eye-opening and revealed so much in my heart.
5. Practice showing true gratitude to God for food by using it for it's intended purpose.

The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season. - Ps. 145:15

That's it. 40 days. Real food to nourish my body cooked in my home by me. I plan to blog through this journey as a form of accountability and to document this experience. I also hope to take the money saved from not eating out and give it away.

When I told my little sister about this, her first question was, "Is this a diet in disguise??" a fair question, with my history of dieting. I will be having my husband hide the scale in an undisclosed location to avoid the temptation to weigh myself. I will not let myself shift the focus of this fast from my soul to my physical body.

Do not labor for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For on him God the Father has set his seal - John 6:27

Food less, God more.

This lent, what can you let go to have more Jesus?

If you're a foodie like me, two great reads on the topic that provided inspiration are Made to Crave and 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess.

Share